Playing football with the dead

Very nightmarish dream last night, a little bit psychedelic and sad as well. Mostly scary though.

In it, I was playing football and I think it was meant to be as part of a school thing. I wasn't in school though, so everything was generally a bit confused.

Anyway, I was meant to be playing in some kind of championship (but not like the World Cup) and was running down the pitch with the football when I noticed lots of hands beginning to come up through the earth. They were moving and looking to grab hold of things, with the fingers clenching into fists and then unclenching again. I was (obviously) incredibly scared by this and stopped running, but everyone else on my team started shouting at me to keep going and it became clear that only I could see the hands.

So I kept running, but dodging the hands so I ended up dribbling the ball all over the place. I don't remember if we won, I just remember that it ended up being a sea of hands and towards the end of the game I had to start standing on them because there was no more space to dribble through them.

The match ended and everyone went home, and I lived near the football pitch so when I looked out of my window I could see all of the hands grasping and searching. I realised that everyone buried underground was dead, but that they weren't zombies. They needed to be freed, and since I was the only one that could see them, I would have to do it.

At that point in the dream things got a bit muddled up, because suddenly (in dream terms) I was a man, and I realised that my wife was buried in the football field. I had to get her out. I found some way of getting underground without digging or anything, and when I got there I realised that everyone looked the same - rotted and bloated. I couldn't tell who was who, but they all grabbed for me with their free hands and cried out to me.

I wasn't sure who I was looking for, but I found a woman who I thought was my wife. I got her out and took her to the surface, but when I got there I realised it wasn't my wife at all. But I couldn't face putting her back underground where everyone was soulless and desperate. So I took her home and she was still unhappy, and all the while I knew that my wife was still underground, but I knew that even if I got her out she wouldn't be herself, just like the woman I had rescued.

Needless to say I had a migraine when I dreamt that, and was also drugged up to the eyeballs with migraine medicine.

Wedding dresses and vegetarian bacon

Since I moved into my new house I've been sleeping incredibly deeply, and have therefore been having the most vivid dreams I've ever, ever experienced. I actually think they're not letting me get any kind of good sleep, since it's like watching a film all night long. Anyway, one of the latest instalments featured one of my colleagues barging into my house wearing a wedding dress. 

In the dream, I was in my new house repainting the walls with turquoise paint, all the while worrying that it would be too bright. One of my house-mates was hovering around somewhere in the background, but she wasn't disturbing me or anything. So, while I was frantically painting, my colleague let himself in through the back door. He was wearing a big meringue-y wedding dress that he was having to hitch up to stop standing on it, and I distinctly remember that he was wearing brogues with the socks pulling up to his knees beneath it. 

You'd think this would have shocked me, but it didn't. I just quickly said hello and went back to painting. He started rummaging through my kitchen drawers until I turned to him and asked what he was looking for, to which he said (and I'm fairly certain I've got this word-for-word):

"I'm absolutely ravenous, Aurora. Haven't you got anything a starving man can eat?"

I flapped a hand at him and told him there was some vegetarian bacon in the freezer and he could help himself. He went hunting in the freezer and came out with the Quorn bacon and started eating it straight from the packed while it was still frozen.

This went on for what seemed like quite a while, until he said:

"Right, thanks for that. Must dash."

And then he left and I went back to furiously painting the walls turquoise.

What does it meeeaaannn??

David Attenborough saves the day

I was living in a huge Victorian house with about four floors, each of which was split into a single apartment. I has the top floor, which was the attic, and there were around four rooms, one of which had been converted into some kind of shrine for paganism by the previous owner. There were huge fireplaces in this room that constantly burned and all over the walls were slightly creepy looking markings of paganistic things. This room scared me quite a lot and I felt like I couldn't move anything or change it in any way, otherwise I'd be smited or something.

 
One day, I went out to buy food and, when I cam back, I realised I'd forgotten my keys and was locked out of my flat. I called my neighbour to help me to get back into my flat and (very handily) he happened to have the same locks on his door, so his keys could open mine. Once I was back inside I realised it was freezing in the flat, so I decided to move my bed into the pagan room. This didn't take too long and once I was there I went to sleep in the gorgeous warmth. I was woken up by people screaming outside my window though. I got up and looked outside - directly below my window was a river that had a willow tree overhanging it, and it looked like the house itself was set in the grounds of a university. There were people canoeing on the river and the water was bubbling and breaking the banks. They were shunted aside in their canoe by something huge in the water - it reared up for a second and everyone watching saw that it was a gigantic whale, bigger than any other in the world could be (don't ask how a whale this massive could fit in a river ¬_¬)

At this point the willow tree started smoking, but it looked like when heat is rising off something. I somehow knew that it was because the whale was something inhuman and that it was breaking the world from being there - like some kind of butterfly effect happening before my eyes. I ran out of the house and rushed to get my boyfriend and explained what had happened - he said he had feared it would happen and that the whale was really a genetically modified monster. He said he knew someone that could help us to solve the 'whale mystery' but that we had to keep everything hush hush.

The guy that could help us worked in a secret underground lab and his assistant was David Attenborough. He took my boyfriend and I to a room with a huge tube filled with water and a holding tank at either end. He explained to us that the whale was completely natural and that we had nothing to worry about. He pressed a button and a normal-sized dolphin swam down the tube and through into the holding tank at the other end. He pressed another button and a slightly larger dolphin came out. He said that aquatic animals were slowly getting bigger and that it was nothing to do with genetic modification. He kept pressing buttons until we'd seen about four dolphins of increasing size.

At this point the guy told David Attenborough to escort us out, which he did. He took us aboveground again and we were on the battlements of a castle. David Attenborough rushed us to one side and quickly explained in hushed, urgent whispers that the guy had been lying and that he'd seen the experiments he'd performed on the dolphins and that he was working with a group to create monster aquatic animals to take over the world with. He told us that we had to create a resistance to save the world, but that we must go now. Suddenly, a man appeared on the other side of the battlements (he was standing on am impossibly tall ladder) and told us to come quickly, otherwise we'd never escape. My boyfriend and I promised David Attenborough that we would succeed and we managed to escape just as the nasty scientist guy appeared on the battlements and killed David Attenborough.

The End.

Talking cats and an entrance to Hell

On Monday night I had the most amazing dream, which really should have been a nightmare but wasn't. Instead of waking up afraid I woke up naturally (which I rarely do - I either get startled awake by my upstairs hoovering-neighbour or by my alarm) and felt completely at ease. And here's what I dreamt:

I was myself but I didn't look like myself (one of those dream quirks) and I was living in a huge old house on a secluded farm in what felt like rural America. I lived with two old women that reminded me a lot of Hilda and Zelda from 'Sabrina the Teenage Witch' and my husband, whom I'd never met in my (real) life before.

We lived a nice life that was full of baking cakes, running through the fields, playing with the pet cat and dog and generally being happy. That was until we heard that people had started disappearing from the town. We were a bit worried about it but assumed they'd turn up eventually. Curiously, the people that had vanished were the ones that were most likely to cause trouble, such as those with political views that went against the grain and such.

A few weeks went by and more and more people went missing. Eventually we started to get worried so we went into town to see if we could get the goss and find out what was happening. Once we arrived we noticed a big gathering in the square and came to realise that people were vanishing because some crazy psycho lady and her posse were making them disappear. They had somehow managed to find an entrance to hell and were throwing people down it when they disagreed with the main lady's rules for running the town.

The entrance was located in a tiny little disused shack and when the door was opened there was a burning red hole in the ground which, quite obviously, didn't go anywhere pleasant. When we happened upon the group they were in the final throws of a witch hunt for two or three people that we happened to know, so we tried to intervene. This just led to us being completely overpowered and thrown in the pit with our friends though.

When we were thrown in it was very much like Alice going through the looking glass, in that we all tumbled about and went through various levels. Eventually I landed on my feet in a big room and thought I was alone until I noticed my cat (who was actually my real cat Jack in the dream) who looked at me and said 'Oh, you made it.' 

He explained to me, much to his annoyance, that because I'd been sent to hell he had to come with me, but that the upside was that animals could talk in hell. We went out of the room and found it was in a huge house, so we wandered about until we found everyone. We eventually came across everyone that the crazy lady had ever thrown into hell, along with all of the pets that had been forced to come along with them. 

As time went by we realised we were actually happier in hell than we were in the real world, because we were altogether, our pets could talk to us and there wasn't any crazy lady. I also remember that you didn't need to eat, drink or do anything other than what you wanted to do there, so we just hung around talking for the most part. 

Every now and then another person would arrive, which we greeted with mixed emotions because we were happy to have them there but were upset because we knew they'd be confused about it all at first. Once more and more people arrived we started holding meetings and, as a result, decided to stage a coup, rise back to the real world and bring everyone we loved down to hell before the crazy lady could throw them down, then seal off the entrance so she could never join us and would be stuck in the horrible part of the universe with her nasty posse forever and ever. 

The End.